Managing anxiety in Teens

🧠 1. Anxiety and Teen Development

• Teen brains are still developing, especially in areas that manage emotions and decision-making.
• Teens are more influenced by peers and less by parents during this stage.
• They often struggle to plan ahead or manage big emotions because their self-management system is still maturing.

🧍‍♀️ 2. Gradual Independence

• Children (especially autistic ones) need gradual exposure to new experiences.
• They need co-regulation—support from calm, understanding adults—before they can handle things on their own.
• Pushing them too fast can lead to anxiety and emotional distress.

🧩 3. Autistic Teens Face Extra Challenges

• They may not follow the same developmental path as neurotypical (NT) peers.
• They often face:
  • Sensory sensitivities
  • Social and communication difficulties
  • Higher risk of bullying
  • More school-related stress
• They need more emotional support, not less.

🏫 4. School Can Be Overwhelming

• Schools often focus on academic progress, not emotional development.
• Emotional support tends to decrease as children get older, even though teens still need it.
• Teens who struggle emotionally are often misunderstood as “disruptive.”

⚠️ 5. Understanding Anxiety

• Anxiety has two parts:
  • Background anxiety (chronic stress)
  • In-the-moment anxiety (acute stress)
• Signs of high background anxiety include:
  • Meltdowns, irritability, sleep issues, withdrawal, risky behavior

🛠️ 6. How to Help

Use the DRONE approach:

• Drop the pressure
• Relationships (build trust and connection)
• Opportunities to take control
• Neural resets (activities that calm the brain)
• Environmental change (reduce stressors)

💬 7. What Teens Need to Hear

• “You can try again.”
• “Exams aren’t everything.”
• “We’ve got your back.”
• Share stories of others who struggled and succeeded.

🤝 8. Connect Emotionally, Not Just Logically

• Don’t try to “fix” the problem right away.
• Acknowledge their feelings: “That sounds really hard,” “I understand.”
• Avoid turning every moment into a serious talk—just be there.

🧘 9. Teach Emotional Resilience

• Help them learn that feelings are temporary and not dangerous.
• Use the Mindset M’s:
  • Mantra: “This too will pass.”
  • Metaphor: “It’s like riding out a storm.”
  • Model: Show how you manage your own emotions.

🎯 10. Long-Term Goals

• Reduce background anxiety.
• Help them feel in control.
• Teach them that emotions come and go—and that they can handle them.